How not to be a knucklehead on Venmo

Venmo takes the anxiety out of splitting brunch and utility bills. With a linked bank account and someone��s username, you can send and request cash in a few taps. But some wonder if the app makes it a little too easy for people to hit each other up for money.

Just ask Soham Maniar of Houston. He was hosting a friend for a weekend, and the two took an Uberpool to dinner. Later, Maniar was surprised to receive a request for $2.85, his half of the ride cost.

��When someone is nice enough to host a friend or guest, it doesn't mean you have to give them something in return, but I think in a world without Venmo, that friend would not have asked me for $2.85 in cash after I got out of a cab,�� Maniar says.

You can take advantage of Venmo without ticking off your friends with these simple tips from Maniar and others.

Try not to sweat the small stuff

��Anything under $20 with friends I usually never charge,�� Maniar says. ��And if someone did something nice for me, I try and return the favor when it makes sense.��

There��s no right threshold. After all, if it��s almost payday and you have a $30 bank balance, covering a coworker��s coffee might not be in your budget. ��It��s not nickel-and-diming if [the amount] does make a difference,�� says Erin Lowry, author of ��Broke Millennial.��

But if you can afford it, consider springing for small items once in a while. When Maniar treats, he says, ��I like to assume they��ll treat me for something in return in the future. It probably evens out.��

Reciprocity is key, though. If you notice that one of your friends tends to take advantage, ��you need to have a conversation,�� Lowry says �� in person. ��Don��t Venmo them for the last six years of your friendship.��

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Don��t stealth-charge

Venmo and other peer-to-peer payment apps let you request money without asking first �� even without a username, which you can find with the app��s search function �� but that doesn��t mean you should. Establishing how you��ll split the bill (or that you��ll split the bill) ahead of time helps avoid annoyance later.

��Unless we��ve spoken about sharing a cost, don��t expect a Venmo request from me for splitting it,�� says Stefanie O��Connell, a finance blogger. And ��don��t send me a Venmo for the guacamole you offered me a bite of,�� she adds.

Spell it out

Use the memo field to add detail about the request, especially when you��re splitting multiple bills. (Emoji not required.)

��Before sending someone a request for money, you should clear it with them, including what it's for and what they should expect to pay,�� says Elaine Swann, a lifestyle and etiquette expert.

After a weekend trip, a simple note, such as ��Hotel $100, gas $40, dinner $30�� can take the stress off your recipient, particularly if you��re requesting a large chunk of money.

Make your transactions private

You can control who sees your transactions on an individual basis or set a default for your account: private or friends only. If your friend��s account is wide open but yours is locked up, the app will honor the more restrictive setting, according to Venmo��s website.

To privatize your feed, open your Venmo menu, scroll down to ��settings,�� and then click on ��privacy.�� Be sure to click ��save�� when you��re done.

For O��Connell, privacy is important on the app. ��Who owes me money and who I owe is nobody��s business but our own,�� she says.

CLOSE

Peer-to-peer payment platforms like Venmo, Zelle or Cash App are easy to use -- but you need to avoid scams. Here are some best practices. Jennifer Jolly, Special for USA TODAY

It��s like real life �� but (hopefully) better

Does Venmo actually make people ruder? Or is it just another way to demonstrate rudeness? It��s a chicken-or-egg argument with no easy answer �� but some suspect it��s more often the latter.

��If you��re a jerk, you��re probably going to be a bigger jerk [on Venmo],�� Swann says.

Lowry agrees: ��If you're somebody who remembers that four years ago your friend borrowed money for coffee and never paid you back, you're going to use Venmo that way,�� she says.

The good news is that if you��re considerate about money outside of the digital world, you��re well on your way to being considerate about Venmo. Think of it as a tool for payment, not a substitute for communication, and soon you��ll be splitting brunch without provoking a single eye roll.

More from NerdWallet:

Best Ways to Send Money

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Alice Holbrook is a personal finance writer at NerdWallet. Email: alice.holbrook@nerdwallet.com. NerdWallet is a USA TODAY content partner providing general news, commentary and coverage from around the web. Its content is produced independently of USA TODAY.